Kittens and Other Nonsense

This past week has been a busy one for certain Small Persons. And by certain Small Persons, I mean specifically The Small One, capitalized.
The holidays are upon us. Speaking of which, where on earth did November go? I seem to have lost it somewhere. Last I looked it was just Halloween! And now Thanksgiving? Aren't there supposed to be a few weeks inbetween? Perhaps I inadvertantly fell into a wormhole and the space/time continuum was distorted for me. I don't know.
Anyhow. As I was saying, busy week and whatnot.
A few days ago, the parents of The Man of the House, henceforth known as Grandma and Grandpa, stopped by for a short visit.
Grandma was on her way to be presented yet another award. Sort of reminded me of that episode of Spongebob where he keeps getting awards and Patrick feels bad because he never wins awards but Spongebob wins them all the time. The rest of us are Patricks. I am beginning to think that Utah will simply fall apart until Grandma returns home from her mission. I am not sure I ever realized how much that woman can accomplish! Go LS!
Goodness, I keep getting sidetracked! Back to the story.
Grandma and Grandpa stopped by and we all jaunted off to Texas Roadhouse. Now, I do enjoy the food at said establishment, but their goal to make things as hot and noisy as possible makes this girl VERY cranky. Especially when aforementioned girl is hungry. Bless me, but I am at the mercy of my blood sugar. So, as we waited at Texas Roadhouse, hungry as all get out, The Small One stood by the everpresent peanut bin. I thought she was innocently eating peanuts. Turns out she was actually licking them and putting them back. Oops. Slightly embarrassing, that. I informed the lovely hostesses of that fact, so my hope is that they emptied that peanut bin and refilled it with clean peanuts.
After a longish wait, during which The Small One ate rolls and tried to behave, we were finally seated. We eventually ordered and ate, but the heat and noise was wearing on both of us. The Small One even informed our server that she needed some earplugs because people were too noisy.
After consuming our comestibles, I excused self and Small One from the heat and noise and took her outside to wait for TMOTH, Grandma and Grandpa to finish. Naturally after about 35 seconds, she became bored. I asked her if she would like to run over to the Build A Bear workshop in the adjoining mall. Of course, she said yes. This is one of her favorite stores, right up there with Ikea. (Don't ask, I have no idea.) Ooh, that rhymes!
We toddled on over to the Build A Bear to have a looky round. We had been in the mall for a brief moment, previous to dinner, and passing the Bear Store, she asked if she could go it, but SUPPOSEDLY it was nearly our time to be seated at the restaurant, so we had to forgo the visit to Bear Shop. She endured this without complaint, bless her heart.
As she looked happily about the shop, I started looking at prices. I noticed that you could now get a bear for $10. Well, that is affordable, thought I. I recalled how she never complained when I didn't have time to take her into the Bear Store, how, after being told no, she never again begged for a bear and how she had tried sooooo hard to be good at dinner. She didn't fully succeed, but then, neither did I. Well, I thought, good behaviour deserves a reward! So, I called her to me, she came running and then, I asked her.
Would she like a bear?
She stared at me. A bear? she queried, unbelieving.
Yes, dear. A bear. Would you like a bear?
Her jaw dropped, her eyes grew wide and then a big, huge smile.
Really? she asked again, just to make sure.
Really, said I.
She turned to look at her options. I showed her which of the animals fell into her price range and told her to choose.
Now, if any of you know The Small One, she has a very hard time making decisions. If you watch closely, you can see the gears in her little brain ticking along, weighing pros and cons of each option. Her options, in this price range, included three bears, a dog and a turkey. I personally hoped she would go for the turkey and steered her in that direction, but alas, twas not to be. She eliminated the turkey and the dog at once. It was Build a Bear, not Build a Dog and most certainly not Build a Turkey. That left three bears. After much consternation, she chose one, carried it over to the helper at the stuffer and handed it off. The helper asked questions.
Hard or soft?
Hard.
Do you want a heart for it?
Of course.
Does he have a name?
Yes.
What is it?
Bozai.
What?
Bozai?
Ooookkaaayyy.
Helper looked in my direction. I shrugged. I hadn't the foggiest.
After Bozai is stuffed and closed, The Small One took him over to the bear shower, where he got a brush and scrub. This took somea long timeas The Small One is very thorough.
Finally, Bozai is clean and brushed. Just then, Daddy walked into the store.
The Small One rushed to Daddy to show off her new bear. Daddy admired Bear and inquired as to his name.
Bozai!
Bullseye? That is a good name!

Realization dawns for me. Bullseye! I get it!
The Small One asked to pay for Bullseye herself, so I gave her the money. She took it up to the cashier, paid and handed her bear to the cashier. Her joy knew no bounds when she saw that he comes with his own house! As the helper handed her the house/box, she smiled brightly and trotted off into the mall. The box is nearly as big as she is, so I asked if I can carry it for her.
No fanks, it's not heavy.
She isn't going to let Bozai go.
She has slept with him nightly since.

Stay tuned for further adventures, I am too tired to write more tonite. Besides, this post is long.

Brain Candy

I have a problem. I get attached to characters in books and movies. Not all movies and books, of course, but certainly those that I like. And I like epics. I know some people don't love long movies and/or books, but I do. I LOVE them. Prolonging the pleasure and whatnot. So, if some bit of fiction or non-fiction grabs my attention, I prefer it be long and epic. Like, say...The Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter, Gone With the Wind, The Forsyte Saga and more recently Lark Rise to Candleford and The Duchess of Duke Street. All of these are movies that are based on books. How about that. I like that as well. If I read an epic novel or series, and THEN, it is made into an equally epic movie? Well, I'm done for.
Here is another problem, besides getting attached to the characters. I don't like to put the book/movie down. I feel the need to continue reading/watching, continously. And, as it usually happens at night, it means I don't get the sleep I ought sometimes.
So, as I said, I get terribly attached to characters. For instance, I cried when Dumbledore died. TMOTH made fun of me. I told him I was going to see the final Harry Potter alone because I knew I would cry at it. I cried when Frodo went to the Grey Havens. I cried when Bonnie died and when Rhett left Scarlett. Okay, I didn't cry at anything in The Forsyte Saga, but those people are all rather despicable. And now, The Duchess of Duke Street has absolutely caught my attention. It is a BBC miniseries (I love the BBC) made in 1976, and I am in love. Normally, I do not love watching movies made in the 60's or 70's because they are so dated and the color is odd and the acting style stilted. But no. These are beautifully done and I am completely addicted. Truth be told, I am a sucker for a good period drama, book or film. And these are good. SO GOOD. I am hung up on Louisa Trotter and Lord Haslemere. I want them to go on forever. I am so sad that there are only 2 seasons of it. It has filled in the time in between seasons of Lark Rise (another BBC period drama, hooray!) And I got all teary-eyed when Charlie married someone that wasn't Louisa. The costumes are dead on. The hair and makeup is amazing and the production design is stunning. And the writing! Oh my goodness! It isn't often that you get a series as well written as this.
Here is the funny. The male protagonist is Christopher Cazenove, who played Ben Carrington in Dynasty. Hahahaha! He was such a rotten character, Ben! But Charles, Lord Haslemere is lovely. Not that I watched Dynasty much, as it was on in the 80's and I wasn't that old.
If you were to look at my Netflix queue, it likely wouldn't surprise any of you that know me. And if you looked at the recommendations that Netflix has chosen for me? You really would not be surprised. I am not sure if you are familiar with Netflix? They give you recommendations based on movies you review and rate, and based on movies you have watched. And they list them by category. My primary categories? Are you just on tenterhooks to know? Well, here they are;
Period, British Dramas with a Strong Female Lead.
Hahahaha! Yep, that pretty much nails it.
The other main category that I have recommendations for is Fantasy/Fairytale.
Also not a surprise.

As for books, well, the same sort of thing really applies. A friend just got me hooked on a new series of books. Well, new for me. They are by Jasper Fforde, are set in an alternate universe Great Britain and feature a strong female lead, by the name of Thursday Next, who is a literary detective.
They are nothing deep or anything, really brain candy. Very light reading and whatnot. But so, so entertaining. Because Thursday is a literary detective, much of the plot devices rely on the reader being familiar with a lot of classic, mostly British literature. Which, I am. See above. I suppose, if you aren't a reader of classic literature, they may not be that amusing, but I love them. I would recommend them to anyone who wants a good laugh.

I recently did a meme on Facebook of the supposedly 100 most influential books of all time. It was kind of a dumb list as there was no Twain, no Verne, no lots of other authors I would deem influential, but whatever. Anyway, the BBC (creator of said list) assumes that most people have only read 6 of the 100 books. I have read 48 of them. So there, BBC.

So, what are your favorite books? Movies? Are you addicted to epics, like me? Do you have a hard time letting go of favorite characters, as I do? Fill me in.

And, I have noticed I have rather a few more followers and readers of late. Those of you whom I do not know, will you comment and introduce yourself? Tell me how you found your way here?

Random Stuff and Nonsense

The Small One and her daddy are off to the mountains this afternoon. With dogs in tow. This is an occurence that The Small One, no doubt, wishes would occur more often than it does. Pity daddy is so busy. And that mamma does not love to go to the mountains. When she does go to the mountains, she has to have her proper hiking boots (which can only be worn for hiking or yard work) and her tiny camelbak and mountain cookies. She only eats mountain cookies whilst on the mountain. Do you wonder what mountain cookies are? I did too. Turns out they are granola bars. Clever infant.

The Small One gets the best of both worlds, being the child of self and TMOTH (The Man of the House) TMOTH. Haha. Sounds like a funny sort of super hero. I think I will start calling him that. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Best of both worlds and whatnot. From me, she gets a knowledge and love of sewing, designing, draping, knitting, spinning, shopping and all that. From TMOTH (that makes me smile every time I type it!) she gets a love of dogs, chickens, outside, mountains, hiking, camping, yard work and all things associated with the previously mentioned. Makes for a well-rounded child, no? She can hike with the best of them. As we know, she does love her chickens.



She is the Alpha in the barnyard, so to speak, and is the only one the turkeys at whom the turkeys DON'T fluff their feathers.
For all her bravery, recklessness and "alpha-ness" however, she can still be a big sissy. For example-I give you this video of pumpkin carving, in which she had to remove the guts from the pumpkin.

I should also add that I am perhaps not the sweetest mamma to ever walk the earth, as I found it HYSTERICAL that she was grossed out by "punkin goo" so I felt a serious need to chuck it at her. Which, as you can see by this video, I did. I could post the next video in the lineup, but it mostly consists of me laughing like a fool at her.

Here is a photo illustrating her well-roundedness, particularly as pertains to food.


In case you are curious what she chooses to consume, I will give you the rundown. She is having some very expensive triple cream brie, a lovely and well aged white english cheddar, a garlic dry aged salami and a white truffle oil dry aged salami. This is The Small One's idea of a lovely bedtime snack. I must admit, I concur. This delightful repast is what I received instead of a birthday cake from TMOTH. Lovely! Isn't he clever? I don't really like cake.

Here is one more pic from late summer. Just because I think she is so damn cute.

I'd know her anywhere!

The Small One wanted to be Tinkerbell for Halloween. I did not want that. I wanted her to be Alice from the new Alice in Wonderland. She did not want that. Then she wanted to be Spiderman. I definitely did not want that. We compromised. I let her be Tinkerbell for her friend's birthday party if she would be Alice for Halloween. She agreed, but then was all sorts of bent that the wings DID NOT MAKE HER FLY!!!!! What a ripoff.
So, here we go. Alice, The Mad Hatter and The White Queen.
I have to say, that Hatter costume might be the best one I have done.





Happy Halloween!

Opinions, I haz 'em.

I have fairly strong opinions. If you are a reader of this blog, or happen to know me in real life or even just on facebook, I expect you know that. Not only do I have strong opinions, I have lots of them. On just about everything. And not only do I have strong opinions on just about everything, they are mostly fairly well supported opinions. Which means, if your opinion differs from mine, though I will listen to you, it is unlikely my opinion will change. Not only will my opinions not change, I might stomp yours into the ground, if it isn't well supported. Yep, I know it is kind of a jerk thing to do, and I don't really mean to be a jerk, it just happens sometimes. We all have our cross to bear.
I don't understand people who don't have opinions about things. Boggles the mind, really. My opinion of people who don't have strong opinions? Weirdos, one and all.
The Man of the House and I occasionally have discussions about this, because, for the most part, he does not hold strong opinions on a lot of things. Obviously, I think he is crazy.
Having opinions on things can put one in a stronger position, albeit one that sometimes annoys the living crap out of one's associates.
For instance, if you are hanging out with me and I say, "what would you like to do?" And you say, "Eh, I don't care" I will take you at your word. Since, odds are, I have an opinion about what I would like to do. If you do not voice your opinion, then mine trumps it by forfeit. Benefit for me! Sucks for you if you actually do care. I am willing to take your opinion into account, but only if you let me know you have one!
Lately, I have had opinions on lots of things. Oh, wait, I always have opinions on lots of things. But, I have VOCALIZED my opinions on things lately.
Par example-
I have an opinion about Park51, the Muslim Community Center proposed for Manhattan. Don't call it the Ground Zero Mosque, because it isn't at Ground Zero.
I have an opinion about certain rectally-cranially inverted Happy Valleyites who felt the need to voice their displeasure at a certain local business for having the audacity to allow polygamists to patronize said business. I think they are idiot bigots. The Happy Valleyites, not the business, nor the polygamists.
I have an opinion about opposite sex friendships. I think they are awesome. Let me emphasize the friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. I, personally, do not look on all members of the opposite sex as simply opportunities for sex. I think there may be a bit more to said people than that.
I have an opinion on gay rights, universal healthcare, stupid people, education, cheese, etiquette, funny words, books you should read, reality tv...you name it.
And I don't mind sharing them.

Sorry Kaytee!

I promised Kaytee some new posts quite a while ago and I have not delivered. Oops. It gets stressful around here, sometimes, and it takes some doing to write a blog post. Which doing I do not always care to do. But, I know I should, as this really is supposed to be something of a record of my life, aside from entertaining the people who actually do read it.
I always wonder, though, why they do. Why do you? Because you find my opinions fascinating? I mean, I think my opinions are fascinating, but I am pretty aware that not everyone shares that view. ;)
Halloween is coming up. I love Halloween in abstract. It appeals to the costumer that still dwells within me. It appeals to the child in me that loves to play dressup, to the imagination that allows me to be, in real life, what I sometimes pretend to be or wish to be in my head.
But then, life has this annoying habit of getting in my way! October is such a busy season with weddings and all, that by the time I really think about getting down to the planning of the costumes, it is the week before Halloween and I am just too tired to really care. So, The Small One usually ends up with something pretty cool. My niece usually gets something nice, and me? Yeah, year after year I end up having to dig through my box of costume crap and try and come up with something. Now, grant you, I have a pretty good costume box, so even my thrown together costumes are pretty cool. Just not as cool as they would be if I actually got around to making something for myself. Alas.
I will post pictures of Halloween, though, rest assured. Kaytee, I will not disappoint!
The Small One is going to be "Blue Alice" as she calls it, from the new Alice in Wonderland. The Man of the House will be dressing up as The Mad Hatter. Spoiled niece will be going as Alice in the Red Queen's castle. The Small One thinks I ought to go as The Red Queen (whom she calls Red Queen Alice's Mom), but I don't have the energy or time to do that costume at this point. Bummer, would have been fun. She has also suggested once or twice that I go as the Bandersnatch, but I vetoed that one.


In other news, The Small One's humour still abounds. The other morning, I lay in bed with my hands tucked behind my head. She grabbed my elbow and pulled, telling me to put my arms down. I asked why? "Because peoples don't like to look at your armpits." Why not? I queried. At this juncture, she released my elbow prodded said armpit and announced, "Because, they are all wild or somethin'." Nice. My armpits are wild. Thing is, it isn't like they were unshaven or anything. They simply offended her for some reason.

She is turning into a right little drama queen, lately. I think it has something to do with being three? At least, that is what I like to believe. And that she will grow out of it, right? RIGHT?
Anyhoo, she has taken to throwing these utterly idiotic and annoying tantrums, which drive me batty, so when they occur, if we are home (how is this for a run on sentence!?!) I send her to her room. Where she howls. A few days ago, upon my sending her to her room, she ran in, cast herself upon the floor and proceeded to give voice in a most melodramatic fashion, as follows.
"JEEEEEEESSSUUUUUSSSSS!!!!! Where have you gone? I want to come to your house! Jeeessuuuussss!!! What did I do?"
I jest not. This actually happened. I think she must be channeling her Southern Baptist roots. I did not know that religion could be inbred like that.

In yet other, though related as pertains to her, news, she likes Dance class. Whew. Like big WHEW! She still whines at me when it is time to get ready, as she suffers from social anxiety, but once she sees how incredibly cute she is in her ballet attire, all is well. And I am not kidding, all it takes is for her to see herself in leo, pink tights and bun and she is rarin' to go. The spazziness that seems to be inherent pops up in dance class, and all I can say is that her teacher is unfailingly patient. The child does not follow directions, spaces off mid exercise and likes to admire herself in the studio mirrors. Not a surprise, really, and I warned dance teacher about it. Dance teacher is sweet and kind and gently takes the child by the hand to lead her back into what she is supposed to do.
Much nicer than me. When I want her attention, it goes more like this.
Me-Small One.
Small One-......
Me-Small One!
SO-......
Me-Small One!!!!
SO-......
Me-SMALL ONE!!!!!! HEY!!!! I AM TALKING TO YOU!!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!
SO-......
At which point I generally poke her with something or flick her ear. Occasionally I have been known to chuck a pillow in her direction. Sometimes it works.
Here's the thing. You can shout at her until the cows come home and if she is distracted, she WILL NOT HEAR YOU. But if you open a candy wrapper in the basement while she is upstairs watching TV? You can bet that the stair door will open and a sweet voice will echo down the stairwell saying, "Hey, can I have some candy, too?"

Wow, go me.

So, it seems I am a lousy blogger. I want to post more often, really I do, but I just don't seem to be able to find the time and/or motivation! I know, it is terrible, especially because this is supposed to be documenting the childhood of The Small One. And she says and does the funniest things, too, which of course, I cannot remember if I don't write them down. Yep, I am lame.

Anyhoo, let's see if we can catch some stuff up here.

The Small One started preschool in August and well, it did not go well. I thought she would do okay, since her teacher was our backyard neighbor, but oh. I was wrong. I guess going from being at home with Mamma to going to a large school with 18 kids in your class is a bit of a jump. Guess I should have thought of that, since it cost me over $200 for the three weeks she managed to attend. I had hoped she would get over her fear but when she started waking in the middle of the night crying and asking if she had to go to school, well, that put an end to it.

I decided that perhaps we would be better off starting small and then working our way up to prescchool. So, with that in mind, I enrolled her in a creative movement class at the ballet school near us.

Well, as I sit here typing this, The Small One is next to me on the couch howling about how she doesn't want to go to dance class. Great. Awesome. She is going to go anyway, like it or not because there are no refunds with this place. But UGH!!!! It seems I have ruined my child by being a stay at home mom. She doesn't get babysat by anyone but my mom or my niece. She only plays at a couple of friends' homes (who live very nearby) and she doesn't interact with very many children who are not her cousins. So now what? Well, I guess I just hope that she gets used to going to dance class and learns to enjoy it.

A couple of weeks ago, Grandpa Ed stayed the night here. The Small One stayed up a bit late to visit with him, so the next morning she slept in quite late. I finally went in to get her up and she sleepily looked at me and said "Is it time to get ready for church?" No, I assured her that it was not Sunday. "Is it a school day?" No, not a school day. At which point, she gave me a little push, rolled over and said, "Then go out, I want to have a few more sleeps." So, out I went. Silly infant.