Saturday, October 25, 2008

Blue Funk

I haven't posted lately as I have been in the grips of a blue funk, a slump, a downhill slide, if you will. I would like to find an oubliette and crawl into it for awhile, but I will leave a note with a time limit on it, so someone can remove me from said oubliette when things improve. Because, if you haven't guessed by now, things aren't going as well as one might like. To be sure, they are far from being as bad as they could be, but right now, it would appear that I am a glass half empty kind of person (oh, who am I kidding, I have always been that way!), and so I have a tendency to dwell more on the fact that not only are they not as good as they could be, but they could get even worse! This causes me stress. And that stress manifests itself in myriad unpleasant ways, both emotional and physical.
But, here is the core of the problem. I do not have the faith that I should that things will be okay. My blessed husband? He does. He just keeps on truckin'. How grateful I am for him and his good attitude. I wish I could take some of it for myself. The Lord has promised us that we will have sufficient for our needs and that Mike will be successful. Mike takes that promise as it stands and works to make it true. I look at that promise and think, Well, the Lord's idea of what is sufficient and mine may not be the same. And what does success mean anyway? See, this is a character flaw, and one I have much need to work on. My most favorite scripture of all is this one: Be still and know that I am God. I need to take that to heart.
And really, I don't have any reason to be in this funk. Things really aren't that bad. I mean, yes, the economy sucks, which means that our financial position sucks, but the Lord has seen fit to take care of us. I have a job, it pays fairly well, but does not require that I spend inordinate amounts of time away from my baby. We bought a very low cost house when we bought it, so we can still pay our house payment. And most of all, our beloved bishop, he has his eye on us. He is determined to make sure we survive the slump. What a good man, how in-tune he is with the Holy Spirit. The Lord has promised us success. Why do I worry about anything else?

3 comments:

Bugga said...

I am shedding tears as I read this entry because of the problems you are facing, but also because you love my son and the Lord. Thank you, beyond words, for your faith in him/Him! We love you.

LINDA

Ed said...

I am just learning how to comment on these blog pages and I have typed a message three times and it won't accept my remarks. He is my forth attempt.

I know these economic times are very hard on everyone. Good times usually last three years. Down turns last at least one to two years. With this in mind the down turn started in June of 2007 so we have at least six months to go before we see the effects of the bail-out plan take effect. We can make it through these test as a nation and as sons and daughter of a loving Father in Heaven. Keep to his plan and we will grow stronger through these times and come out ever smarter and better prepared for the next cycle. Love Ya....Grandpa Ed

Josh and Kaytee Postma said...

Tara I feel your pain. More than you know. This economy has left a temporary black mark on my credit, and my home life as I know it. And yet I keep having to remind myself that I too still have my job and Josh's job will start in March and other than the loss of 2 homes to this awful market, we are doing just fine every where else. A very smart woman in my and Mike's life has said since we were little "This too shall pass" and it will. Keep your chin up and remember as long as the glass is half empty...it's also half full!!!