Monday, July 26, 2010

Life...

"I try to take life one day at a time, but sometimes, several days attack me at once."

This is how I feel right now. Dear friends, please be aware, I am utterly overwhelmed right now. If you asked me to do something and it hasn't gotten done, I am sorry. It probably won't for awhile. If you are wondering why I haven't spent time with you, it isn't because I don't like you, it is because all of my time is taken up doing stuff for other people and when a free moment comes along (and that is all it is, a moment) I want to sit down and just be me.

I am so overwhelmed right now that my work is suffering. I am doing very poor work and not even being aware of how bad it is until my unhappy client points it out. And that just sort of adds to the feeling of overwhelmed-ness. It makes my confidence in my abilities suffer. Which makes me do poor work, which makes my...well, you get the idea. Vicious circle and whatnot.

Stop asking me when I am going to have more children. I don't know. The thought of adding something like that to the mix right now may just send me straight over the edge. I love my daughter more than life, but she requires a great deal of time. And, as I do not have much of that right now, taking away the bit I do have for her in order to care for an infant seems cruel. Besides, I don't have insurance.

I am taking a break from working for a bit, as soon as I wrap up the clients I have. Don't ask me to sew for you. The answer is no.

I am going to focus on fixing the things I screwed up and then once I finish that, focus on figuring out how to get my head back in the game. Thanks for understanding.

Monica, this does not apply to your boys. They are welcome ANYTIME, as their presence makes me happy.

5 comments:

Jen said...

I wish I could come steal you and take you to lunch. LOVE YOU!

lillysmum said...

Thanks Jen! I wish we could all hook up for a knitting cruise. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Ruth M said...

So sorry you are overwhelmed. I do know the feeling. And several days attacking at once--perfect analogy. Wish I could help you out it some way, other than to say you are amazing and talented.

Ed said...

Tara: My heart goes out to you and I feel the pain you are going through. I completed my home teaching tonight and the First Presidency message is entitled "Faithful Friends". By Henry B. Eyring. In the space provided I will just asked you read the message. I'm sorry I didn't pick up on your sadness while you were down this weekend. I'll do better next time. You are loved by our family and we love being with you whenever possible. Best Regards. Your Father in Law...

DeGrey Family said...

You read my mind!?! LOL. Hey please, please, please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help. I'm Serious!!