More things and stuff

See, it was a good thing I copied that post below, because Blogger lost it again! Even though it autosaves, when I go to the draft, only the title will come up. I don't know why this is, but it is seriously annoying!

So, the sucky week. You ever have those days (weeks) where you pretty much can do nothing right or well? That suck all the self esteem out of you? This was one of those weeks, and I am beyond glad that it is over. Here's hoping I can start fresh on Monday and not have a repeat of this week.

Wanna know what went wrong? Of course you do, you nosy beggar.

Truthfully, I can't even remember what went wrong at the beginning of the week. I swear this week has been a year long!
Here is the crapatiousness in list form;
My house is a pigsty.
My laundry pile is nearly as tall as I am.
I am out of work clothes (see previous for reason)
I am chubby (okay, that didn't just happen this week, but you know how it is)
I cry when I am angry, frustrated, ticked off, tired, worn out and/or upset. And I can't help it.
My brain cannot seem to focus on more than one thing at a time.
I can't get anything done on time.
I have no motivation to exercise and de-chubbify.
I have screwed up at work more times than I want to think about.
I have messed up some free lance stuff, thereby creating more work for self.
I like knitting way too much.
And the big kicker, I am not as talented as I like to think I am.

Okay, now for an explanation.

Tis the season for new designs to be due at work. We have been working on said designs since the beginning of September. Now, we are in crunch time where everything comes due and there is a lot to think about. Also, the boss man hired a new girl, who, among other things, is also supposed to design. And she schooled me. Big time. She is very talented. At designing. She can't really sew, doesn't pattern, isn't very educated on the technical aspects of clothing manufacture. But she sure can draw pretty pictures. Of clothes that are right fabulous. What does this mean, you ask? It means that I think I may be being phased out of the design part of the party and pushed back into the technical part of the party. Because, this is what I am good at. I am good at taking someone's lovely, pretty pictures and translating them into reality. I know the terms, I know the patterning, I know the industry. The problem? This is not what I want to do! The dilemma. Do I accept my limitations and know this girl is a better designer than I am? Do I accept my place as interpreter of her designs and give up on the designing? Or do I put out the effort to keep sketching, hoping that I might turn out something really good? I don't know. And it frustrates me.
Onto the next problemo. Because we have been much involved this past week in trying to get things ready for China, that is where my mind has been. And it seems, my mind can only be one place at a time. There was a time when it could be several. I think it is broken, now. I blame pregnancy. Or something. Because of this one place thing, I forgot or messed up multiple things at work. In fact, on Friday, I forgot to do the alterations for two fittings. And apparently a third today. I got a call from the shop telling me that so and so had come in to pick up her dress and I hadn't even started on it! And she had to have it by monday, because she was leaving Tuesday morning for the wedding. Aargh! Now, in all honesty, I don't think I would have scheduled a pickup with that many alterations on a day I didn't work, but the bride swears I did, and I can't remember, so there you go.
Also, had a meeting with the boss man and the hotshot designer. Did not go well. I suck. I cannot do what he wants. I don't know what he wants, and this lack of knowing basically keeps me from knowing how to do what he wants.
Plus, I really hate doing alterations. They are not fun. Brides are not nice. Brides mom's are worse. And I think Bridal Store owners might even be worse. But that could just be my bruised self-esteem talking.