Whaaaa?????

January 20 what? Seriously, I am like the world's worst blogger EVAR!
Are you wondering if we had Christmas? We did. It was lovely. I will post some pics.
Are you wondering if we are still around? We are. But, honestly, I think we are maybe just too boring for blogging? But then, I have to think, who do I blog for? Do I blog for myself or do I blog for my readers. Since I only have, like, 2 readers, I will have to conclude that I blog for myself. Not to denigrate my 2 readers, as I love them, but you know...
More people should read my blog, in my humble opinion, because, let's face it, I am pretty darn funny sometimes. Okay, maybe more snarky than funny, but still.
Here are some funny stories, no thanks to me, but more to my very amusing daughter.

There we were, standing in the bathroom, getting ready for the day. Likely it was Sunday, since I am very lazy and don't often actually do my hair or makeup (or that of The Small One) during the week. I was happily combing my hair or doing my makeup or possibly putting piggies into The Small Ones hair when she cranes her skinny little neck over the edge of my tub to give it a critical look. She gazes upon the white porcelain, then looks up at me. "Mamma, your tubby is a zaster." Uh, what? "Your tubby is a zaster! You need a clean it." I glance over at the tub. Not that dirty. Besides, as I told her, SHE was the last person in it, maybe she needs to clean it! She disagreed and gave me stinkeye. Hmmm.

Okay, that was just one story. I have been uber lame lately, and have not written down the amusing things The Small One says.

Oh, but wait. Just now, as I was writing this, the naken bummed child came in and sat upon my head and thereupon informed me that my head stinks. I asked why and she said because her naken bum was on it. Nice. For the record, I do not teach her these things. I suspect The Man of the House, but this cannot currently be proven.

Do you like to cook? I like to cook, and The Man of the House (generally) likes to eat that which I cook. However, I hate to clean. Hate. Like with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns hate. So, The Man of the House does the cleanup. Most of the time. Occasionally, I take pity and try to clean up myself, but let's be honest, that does not happen very often.
Don't misunderstand me, this is not to say that I leave a ginormous mess for him to clean up, I mean, I do put (some) things away as I go.
I have discovered, though, that what I consider easy, other people do not. I like to cook from scratch, and am kind of opposed to pre packaged food. I do use it, when necessary, but I don't like how it tastes.
I make up recipes all the time, but then I forget what I made, so, although I could have a nice repertoire of recipes, I don't. Kind of lame, don't you think? I would consider starting a food blog, but I can't even post on this one more than once a month, so a food blog seems rather like an impossibility, no?

Eating at home is good for a number of reasons. It keeps our spending down, it allows me to control what goes into it, and, sigh, it enables me to keep my calories down. Do you know how hard it is, though, to try and keep my calories down, whilst living in a house with two people whose calorie counts need to be high? Aargh! It is dreadful.
The Man of the House works so hard that he has a hard time keeping weight on, and if you have read my blog at all, you know that The Small One has eating issues, so high calories for them, low calories for me. That means healthy-ish meals and they get dessert.
I started exercising about 2.5 weeks ago. I am not an exerciser by nature. I don't like to sweat. Yeah, yeah, I could go swimming, but there isn't a pool at our Rec center and I don't have a gym membership, or the time to change into a bathing suit, go over to a pool, shower, swim, shower, dry hair, change, drive back home. And what to do with The Small One while I am gone?
I have a treadmill, which I have been using. I have been exercising about 1 hour every day, burning a good number of calories according to Sparkpeople. I have been watching my calorie intake and guess what? NOT A POUND HAVE I LOST. How lame is that? Seriously lame, that is how. I am not happy about it.
Yesterday, I treadmilled for over an hour and then forgot to stretch afterward, boy am I paying for that! The back of my knee is NOT thrilled with me.
I shall persevere, however. I suppose, even if I don't get thinner, at least I will get more fit, right? I will confess, though, that my motivation wasn't to get more fit, it is purely vanity. I want to be skinny again. The getting fit is just a bonus. Probably, I should be thinking the other way round. Oh well.