Workin' hard

So, I've been thinking about what it will take to go back to school and get my nursing degree.  On the one hand, it seems like a really good idea.  Nursing, then possibly a midwife degree is a really stable career, especially here in Utah, and the pay and benefits are certainly better than what one can make in the arts.  I love the arts and it would be so hard to give that up, but raising a child alone isn't easy financially and it will only get more expensive.

On the other hand, when I consider how much work will be involved, it worries me.  I have a little daughter.  She needs me and my time.  Will going to school take too much time away from her?  Will I even be able to get into nursing school?  What if I don't?  I have a year's worth of pre-reqs to do before I can even apply for nursing school and that would mean quitting my job and taking out loans in order to do that, and then if I didn't get into nursing school after that?  Then what?  I would have a significant amount of money in loans and no way to pay them off.  I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have a way to support myself or my daughter.

It's scary, y'all.  I know I would be a good nurse, I know I would do well in school.  Even though my degree is in the arts, I've always had a penchant for science.  But, I'm not so young anymore.  I don't have any healthcare experience, I already have a degree and I graduated from college the first time nearly 20 years ago. What would possess them to accept me to nursing school?  It isn't easy to get in.

Do I dare risk my stable, albeit not well paying job to take out major loans for something that may not work out?  It was different when I was young and going to college the first time.  Then, I was young and unattached with no obligations except to myself.  And being young, I had a hell of a lot more energy than I do now.  I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time, paid for my schooling, had a scholarship and didn't take out any loans.  That won't be the case this time.  If I'm going to nursing school full time, I won't be able to work, because I will be in school all day and I need to be home with my wee lass at night.  Well, and I want to be home with her.  So, that means loans for tuition and loans for living expenses.

Now, I know how to be poor, I know how to live cheaply, but it isn't easy, and it's very stressful. And I'm looking at 3 years here, at the least, before I'm a nurse, and then two more years if I want to be a midwife.

I don't know.  It's discouraging.  On the one hand, I really want to do it.  It would be nice to have a well paying career, a very stable job, doing something I enjoy doing, helping others and getting paid to do it.  On the other hand, it's such a risk, and if it fails, I am screwed.  Ugh.