HEY

Oh, hey, it's me.  The laziest blogger in the history of ever.  I have thoughts for posts flit through my head all the time, but most of them never make it onto this blog, for a variety of reasons.  The top one, though, is that I'm lazy about writing.  Or maybe I'm just too busy, I mean, I have lots going on! Yes, that's it.  Busy.

Anyway, I worked today, at work (see? BUSY).  I mean, it wasn't FOR my regular job, but I did go up there to get some stuff done.  I work better up there, I have to admit.  There aren't any distractions, no computer, etc.  No people, no snacks, just a nice big space (I actually cleaned off my table) and sewing machines that work.  I messed up my industrial at home a couple of months ago and haven't gotten it fixed yet, and sewing on a domestic makes me cranky.  I feel like I could just weight the pedal, go make dinner and then come back and do the next seam.  SO SLOW.  And I had to get the thing done today.  The thing being a christening dress for a friend's granddaughter who needs it for TOMORROW.

There is a possibility that I procrastinate sometimes.  Don't judge.  I'M BUSY.

As a brief respite from working today, I went to the interior decorating fabric store with a friend to find fabric so I can redo the cushion on his antique settee.  No lie, it's fun spending other people's money, even if it isn't for me.  He finds a fabric he likes and goes for it.  $50/yd, no biggie.  If it turns out he doesn't like the fabric, meh, we'll do it over (he's paying me).  My reaction?  Blink...blink...blink.  When I reupholster my furniture, I head over the to cheap home fabrics store and buy the stuff that's clearanced for $5/yd or less.  Like I said, spending other people's money is fun.

After finding fabric he liked, we jaunted on over to Starbucks for scones (where he made fun of my proper pronunciation of the word) and coffee, or spiced cider, in my case.  Then, we chatted.  I love chatting with this man.  He's very intelligent, intellectual, liberal, well read, funny and challenging. He makes me rethink my views and opinions on some things in a way no one else does.  It's very stimulating, and also sometimes frustrating.  He's also VERY opinionated, but so am I and it's rather delightful, the debates we get into. He got me into a corner today and then laughed and said "Don't argue with me, I'm very good."  I told him that was my line and he needed to not steal it.

During the course of the conversation, he asked me if I was dating anybody yet.  I said no, he said why not, I said dating is a pain in the ass.  Especially if one is a Mormon Feminist.  It narrows the field considerably.  His response?  "You should give up being a Mormon, then."  I thought this was really interesting.  Yes, I have issues with a lot of the culture of the LDS Church.  Being a Feminist, that is sort of unavoidable.  I even have some issues with what many perceive as the doctrine of the LDS Church.  The difference being that I think those things are policy, not doctrine, and may change some day.  But, that is a different post, and one I will probably never write on here.  While this may be the blog of a Mormon Feminist, it is not A Mormon Feminist Blog, though I do frequent many of those.  But, I digress.

I had to pause for a minute and figure out how to explain why that wasn't the sort of thing I could just "give up" so I could date more.  What it boils down to is this; Being a Mormon is foundational to my self identity.  I have a strong conviction of the truth of the doctrine found in the Gospel we have here. It directs, in a certain sense, how I choose to live my life and the choices I make in my life, and how I make those choices.  So much of the culture I live in here drives me CRAZY.  It's sexist and conservative and classist and often unchristian and judgy, honestly, and it makes it hard to engage in a general sense.  But, I can't and won't give it up, because the doctrine rings true for me.

I can't give up being Mormon any more than I can give up being feminist or intelligent or independent or opinionated, all things that make dating hard.  Not only does that narrow the field of men that are interested in me, but it narrows the field of men in whom I am interested.  I had a few men on a dating site I was on tell me they thought it brave of me to admit that I was a feminist in my profile, because it would mean a lot fewer men would be interested in messaging me.  Blink blink. Um, guess what?  If they are put off by me being a feminist, I'd just as soon they NOT message me....not my kind of guy, methinks.  I'm not afraid to put that I'm a Mormon in my profile, either.  I am one.

If I have to give up something, I'll give up dating.  I won't give up Mormon or feminist or intelligent or independent or opinionated.  Besides, as my friend said "dating is an instrument, not an end."
But, wow, it takes a lot of time to wade through the detritus in search of a treasure.  Ain't nobody got time for that!