Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It Doesn't Quite Cover the Subject or Musings on a Miniskirt

When Mr. Spencer, my 11th grade English Literature teacher was posed the question, "How long does this paper have to be?" , he would often answer, "About a miniskirt." "What?" queried the confused student. Mr. Spencer would smile and explain. It should be about the length of a good miniskirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.
The miniskirt is a modern invention, especially the micro-mini. Though the idea behind the fashion at the time of its birth was that of providing freedom to the wearer (this at a time when corsets and girdles were discarded as being too confining), the modern mini-skirt can seriously constrain the freedom of the even slightly modest wearer. It requires (hopefully) the wearer to behave in a more discreet fashion, to sit properly, walk carefully and constantly check one's back in the mirror. How I wish this held true more often!
Though the very short skirt went out of fashion for a "short" time, it has returned with a vengeance, being worn by old and young, tall and short, skinny and fat. Not only has the short skirt returned, but it returns with a bit of a twist. No longer is it just narrow and body hugging, providing at least some coverage. Oh no, the current popular miniskirt is very short and either pleated or gathered and at the mercy of the slightest wind or quick turn by the wearer. Also rather dangerous is the vantage point provided by stairs and escalators. I was recently flashed at a shopping mall by a young lady several steps above me on the escalator. More often than I desire, I have been privy to the color of underthings the poor victim was wearing. The miniskirt makes the old admonition to always make sure you have on clean underwear more important than ever, you never know what you might be showing!
Not only is the visibility of unmentionables a hazard to the viewer, but the desire to wear miniskirts of those whose figures are perhaps not built for them. Good legs are a very important asset to those who wish to wear short skirts successfully, unfortunately, it seems only a few are aware of this. Worsening this aspect is the apparent need of many to wear above the knee socks with even further above the knee skirts, thus exposing several inches of compressed flesh.
Truthfully, I have nothing against miniskirts, and have even been known to wear them myself ( a number of years ago!) More often than not, however, miniskirts do not meet the requirements set by my high school English teacher. Though they may be short enough to be interesting, it seems they are rarely long enough to quite cover the subject.

3 comments:

Josh and Kaytee Postma said...

Again...You should be a writer

The Whitaker Family said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-men!!!

bill cobabe said...

I use this quote all the time! I had forgotten we were in this class together... Another random factoid - he was also my Sunday School teacher, and a great one, at that. I loved him so much....

I saw him several years later (after I'd had kids of my own and things) and I was excited to see him. Alas, he called me "John"... LOL! Obviously he'd had a bigger impression on me than I on him... Humbling, that, really...