So, this being a working mum thing is not super awesome. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have a job I mostly enjoy that has health benefits. I know those are hard to come by these days. But, having been a (mostly) WAHM for the past 9 years, this full time work, long commute gig is hard. And yes, I know Small Daughter is only 6. Previous to her, I had my wee nephew full time at home while I worked.
Now, please understand, while I am lazy in many ways, I do enjoy working. I enjoy the challenges that come in my line of work, I enjoy creating things and I enjoy getting paid for it. But, I also enjoy being home with my daughter, seeing how she grows and changes, letting her sit in my lap while I sew, or watch her copy me by draping dresses on her child size mannequin. I enjoy her chatter, I like to know what she is doing and how she likes to do it. And, you know what? Those things are hard to accomplish when I leave for work at 7:30 am before she is even awake and I get home at 6 or later. That doesn't leave much time for interacting with her, especially when I still have to take care of dinner and attempt to tidy up the house, maybe do some laundry.
This is the first summer that I have had to work full time away from home and I feel like I missed it. We didn't do ANYTHING. We didn't make it to the waterpark, didn't go on any trips, only went to the pool a few times. It's disappointing and, of course, makes me feel like I am not the best mother that ever lived.
There are too many things to worry about when one has to work full time. Where do I put her in daycare? If I put her in daycare, will that change where she has to go to school? How do I choose the right school and will they even let me put her in said school? Am I making enough money to pay for daycare? If I have a family member care for her, will it cost any less and will I be overburdening them?
I think it is probably a bit easier if one is making a decent amount of money at one's job. It makes it a bit easier to choose a school, one can put the child in a good private school. One can be more discerning when choosing daycare. One doesn't have to worry so much about taking a day off here and there to take care of said child because, well, vacation, sick days and less of a need for that day's paycheck.
The thing is, I make an ok amount. There are a lot of people who have to survive on less, and I honestly don't know how they do it. Well, I expect they experience a lot of stress. I experience a lot of stress just thinking about it.
Truth be told, I'm probably fussing about nothing. I want what I want. Which is to make enough money working part time to support my daughter decently, so that I also have time to, you know, RAISE her, myself. She's my daughter, I want to be the one to help her grow up.